At the breakfast table
A: M, we are going to have a surprise in 3 months.
M (mouth wide open): “What surprise?”
A: A baby is going to be born.
M: Yeaaaaa!
A: The surprise is that we don’t know if it will be a boy or a girl. We will know only after it is born.
M (after some thought): Yes, we can see if it comes with shorts or a frock!
In the bedroom
M: Amma, I am a kind person, no?
N: Yes M, you are.
M: What is the meaning of kind, Amma?
N: It means to be nice, to share, to not hit, to not hurt.
M: Means if there is one kutti chocolate and lots of us, then we can cut it up into pieces and share with everyone, no?
N: Yes. Who has been talking to you about kindness, M? Did they teach you at school?
M: I taught by myself.
A couple of days later, M kicks N on her (pregnant) stomach.
N: Remember, we talked about kindness, M?
M: Am I kind, Amma?
N: Yes you are, M.
M: But I was not kind when I kicked you, no?
Wolf and the Fox
M: Amma, you are a fox. So you should bite me.
N: Ok I can be a fox, but I don’t want to bite you.
M: But I am a big bad wolf and I can bite you. But we won’t bite each other. Let us both go and bite Appa.
(M trots off to the computer room where A is working. She bites A’s arm. N follows suit.)
N: She is a wolf and I am a fox and we are biting you.
A (absentmindedly): Ok, great. (And continues to type away)
Baby sitting
N: M, will you spend the night with ammamma? Appa and I are planning to go to a movie.
M: I also want to come.
N: No, it is a late-night show – you need to sleep and go to school the next day.
M: OK, after the baby is born, you and appa can go out and I will stay at home and take care of the baby. I can change it and feed it and give it milk when it is hungry, no?
As soon as M’s grandmother climbs into the car
M: Ammamma, don’t bore me.
AM: Why M, what did I do to bore you?
M: No, there is no cycle in your house. So it is very boring there. You buy a cycle for me and then it will not be boring.
Doing homework
N: Come, do your homework.
M: No, I don’t want to do it.
N: You have to do it. Auntie will scold you if you don’t do it.
M: Will you give me a star if I complete it?
N: Yes.
(M sits down to do her homework. Some of her work is very neat. One letter is particularly illegible.)
N: That letter has come out badly, M. Please write the next one neatly.
M: Otherwise auntie will scold?
(N realizes the folly of using auntie’s scolding as the “stick”)
N: No M, we are not writing for auntie. We are writing for ourselves.
M: Not for ourselves, amma. For God.
N (stunned): Where is God, M?
M (matter of factly): On the road.
N: I think God is inside you, M. So if you are doing it for yourself, you are doing it for God.
M: Not for me Amma, I am doing it for God.
(M proceeds to do a good job with the rest of her homework.)
At the school (where some parents drive their cars into a restricted area)
M: Why are they bringing the cars into the road, Appa? They should not do that, no?
A: Yes, they should not.
M: Then, why are they bringing them in? They are doing wrong, no?
A: Yes, they are.
M: They don’t know?
A: They know but they are still doing it.
Doing favors
N: M, will you do me a favor? Could you put this chocolate wrapper in the dustbin?
(M drops the wrapper in the bin)
A few days later…
N: M, will you do me a favor? Can you turn on the fan?
(M turns on the fan.)
A few days later…
M: Amma, can you do me a favor? Put this in the dustbin (handing over a chocolate wrapper)
(N drops the wrapper in the bin)
This was originally meant to be 101 conversations with my daughter but I managed to write only 9 of them, most of which were with her mother! M was about 4 years old at that time and then… we had twins! I hope you understand why I couldn’t complete the rest. But hey, there is still a lifetime ahead to get a few more done. I think I will keep the title.
Featured Image: Photo by Benjamin Manley on Unsplash
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